Mass Effect: The Social Experiments
by Halofan5695
Summary: What if most of the Arks were social experiments? This story details various social experiments as short stories.


Alfred Lawson's quarters was vary spacious in its design. It was very similar to a penthouse apartment in New York in both design and form. It had two floors, one a bedroom, the other a living room and kitchen. The quarters was practically designed to Alfred's tastes.

There was even a view in the blackness of space in his room beside the television set. It allowed him to see the outside of space as the Ark passed the stars. It also provided a majestic view for Alfred to design his art on his touchscreen easel.

He usually created pornographic images on that easel for his peers. There were no human women on the ship, only asari. This resulted in all the men on the ship using the pictures as entertainment when they were in private. He went under the artistic pseudonym, the "Stiff Maestro", and traded the art for pics of their girlfriends.

He was currently sitting in front of the easel, painting a classic broad. Her name was Marilyn Monroe, an extremely attractive woman from the fifties. He was painting from memory, using every precise pen stroke to create a photo realistic art piece. He stayed there painting for hours trying to get his masterpiece right.

After he would finish this masterpiece right, he'd hold an art exhibition with a few dozen men. He would like to exhibit his collected works to them. They would also like to find the identity of the man who painted those masterpieces of art. Not being that modern art garbo one would see at an art gallery.

Before going to this ship, Alfred was just an art student at Oxford University. His father used his connections to get him there. He had a girlfriend, her name was Clarissa. She was more attractive than most women on campus. She looked like Monroe with a British Accent, and the attractive ditsy blonde girl personality.

He used the vivid memories of his girlfriend to paint the masterpiece. He wanted to keep some element of the woman he would never see again in the painting. He was just hours away from completing the background, it was in a club.

In just a few days time, he could present his masterpieces to his peers. They wanted to see the collected works of "Stiff Maestro". And they wanted to see the works of art soon, before the Asari Maidens got suspicious.

He wanted to keep his pornographic art gallery a secret for the men of the Ark. Because human males would not be the only sexually frustrated group on the ship. So he had to keep this gathering of bros a secret from the ship. Only a few designated men were allowed through means of private invites.

He even had to spend a few days of cleaning up hand sanitizer and tissues from his quarters. No guest would like any filth, especially crusty tissues. They would think the host of this party or exhibition for a creep, it was best to make it more presentable.

So when he finished the painting, he uploaded it to a digital screen. Then hung the digital screen on the entrance archway of his home. He felt tears flow from his tear ducts as he went to sleep from exhaustion of 48 hours of work on the finishing touches.

He woke up on the floor several hours later.

After waking up, he had breakfast. Then started to take steps to clean up the crusty tissue paper everywhere in the quarters. He then sent all the crusty tissues to the recyclers to be reprocessed into clean papers for later. To top it all off, he went to the amenities location, and requisitioned more lotion from the asari officer.

"We noticed there's starting to be quite the shortage of lotion. Do you have any explanation, Lawson," asked the asari.

"You know us human adolescents," replied Lawson with a genuine guilty grin.

Then he just took off to his quarters, and played Resident Evil 5 on his TV. His anxiety shot up at the thought of the asari knowing of what the men were doing. So he just played video games to get the thought of being caught out of his mind.

After ten solid hours of gameplay, he went to his bedroom. Then repeated the process of playing video games and sleeping for the next few days. It was gone, there were no feminine voices at the door wanting to ask question. And there was no talk of room inspection from the intercoms.

He could now ask the people to come for his art exhibition. There were twelve clients that he was going to invite to his house to his greatest works. He felt everything was fine, until he heard a feminine voice at the door that wasn't from a porno.

"Mr. Lawson, we heard rumors that you're distributing pornography," said an Asari Security Officer.

Lawson went down to his bedroom room when they entered. Then looked at the noose he created when he realized there was no human women. There was a stool he placed under the noose for his convenience as well.

As soon as heard their footsteps, he got on the stool. Then put the noose over his neck, and kicked the stool away. He started to feel the oxygen being cut from his neck, and he felt great from the relief.

The asari officers just watched, they were shocked.

 _The Legend of The Stiff Maestro Ends..._


End file.
